About

Don Seltzer is a trained interventionist and an ordained Presbyterian minister with over 33 years of experience working with individuals and families in crisis. He studied and trained at UCSD and has completed successful interventions.

Don’s heart for people and his desire to see the addicted Loved One find the help they need without shame makes him a good choice for the person you deeply care about. He seeks to help the family and friends~ and the addict, if possbile~ understand the enormous struggle of a brain redirected by the power of addiction.

His appoach of compassion with truth . . . love with strength . . . guides the addict to make the compelling decision for wholeness (and subsequently the health of the family.)

Don will supply you with references upon request. Feel free to call for his reasonable hourly rate and further information. All conversations are strictly confidential. Contact Don: 760.930.8093 or dseltzer@hiddenlife.com

How many years have you watched your loved one slowly destroy themselves and negatively impact those closest to them? More than likely, if you are reading this, it has been 9-10 years~ the average stime it takes before you say ‘enough is enough.’ Your heart aches for your friend or spouse, mother or father, or sibling. You have done everything you know to do and nothing has worked. Not tears, not anger, not begging and pleading~ NOTHING has worked.

Meanwhile you have watched a slow, destructive spiral downward. Things are gotten out of control. . . the loved one has to stop. He or she is in danger and potentially others are in danger too.

If this sounds like your situation, I encourage you to not wait another day to take action. In the name of LOVE, take ACTION. I know you feel helpless to know what to do. I can help you and together definitely make a difference. At best, we can get your loved one in treatment. Worse case scenario? You loved one will KNOW that you no longer can idly stand by and watch them destroy themselves . . .

Contact: dseltzer@hiddenlife.com or 760.930.8093.

I can help you with your next steps.

Help your loved one

TYPES OF ADDICTION

Honestly, addiction is addiction. It looks, smells, taste, sounds, feels the same. Whether alcohol, drugs (prescription or otherwise), sex, gambling, food~ you name it~ ADDICTION IS ADDICTION. The devastating impact is the same.

There are two toxic characteristics of addiction: UNMANAGEABILITY and DISHONESTY.

No matter what you bring me, we can deal with it together.

I am here to support, empower and help you, and the others impacted by the addict, TO BECOME HEALTHY ~ in addition to the addict you care so much about.

Did I mention that you, as well as family and friends, are likely addicted to the addict? Addicts cannot continue without ENABLERS.

ADDICTION

STEPS TOWARD SUCCESS

1. INITIAL COACHING

2. INTERVENTION LETTERS:

3. PRE-INTERVENTION MEETING:

4. THE INTERVENTION:

5. POST-INTERVENTION:

Steps Involved

STEP 1. INITIAL COACHING: This is essential preparation for a successful intervention. You will equip you to move forward with understanding and compassion for the struggle and the resistance of the addicted loved one. This also includes the gathering of a team of friends and family who will join you in this most important endeavor.

Coaching

STEP 2. INTERVENTION LETTERS: Each member of the team will write a letter, usually a page or so long, to express their heart to the addict. I will coach each of the team members through this process. It is not easy to say what needs to be said in a concise, clear, and compassionate way.

Letters

STEP 3 . PRE-INTERVENTION MEETING:

At this time, the team and I will gather together in a pre-determined neutral and safe place where the Intervention will take place. We gather to essentially rehearse the Intervention and prepare for all of the obstacles that will inevitably come up.

I will equip and empower you to handle all of the issues of resistance during the intervention. My job is to guide the process as the Facilitator who is there to assist the family and friends in order to get the help needed for the addict.

Pre-Interv.

STEP 4. THE INTERVENTION: The day and hour when the intervention HAPPENS. Imagine this a serious gathering of friends and family WHO CARE ENOUGH TO DO SOMETHING, even something that feels like hurt and confrontation,
for their loved one. THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ENDING. You are raising the bottom to save the life of the addict. This act of COURAGEOUS LOVE will cast a fresh vision to the addict of hope and wholeness for their life.

Intervention

STEP 5. POST-INTERVENTION: This is follow-up with family and friends who need and want my continued support and counseling to deal with their often frayed emotions, pain and/or confusion regarding their own role in the life of the addict.

This is optional work, according to need and desire. Often, however, the new seedling and the family members needed addtional nurture and care. Intervention is a first step to a long journey~ an important new beginning to be sure, but just a beginning.

One of my favorite quotes is: “I can’t go back and make a new start, but I can start now and make a new ending.” May you find a new ending to the story of Addiction!

Call me NOW and let’s get started! 760.930.8093

Post-Intervervention

WHAT IS ENABLING?

To ENABLE is to help the Addict avoid

the negative consequences of their addiction.

The CHIEF ENABLER does it in spades.

“Almost all families inadvertently enable addicted loved ones by helping them avoid the negative consequences of addiction. For addicts to stay comfortable in their addiction, they need the help of the very people who want them to stop the addiction. Family, friends, and co-workers are uninformed recruits, who unknowingly enable the addiction . . . to continue flourishing in the addict’s life. This happens in a number of ways, including loaning money, taking over the responsibilities, making up alibis, covering up or ignoring the problem, and allowing the addict to manipulate them.”

(Jeff Jay, Love First)

“Substantial consequences, and your willingness to apply them is you most powerful tool. Without this resolve and determination, you are doomed as an intervention group. Don’t even bother going through the motions–the whole ordeal is pointless. You better hear me now: the lack of follow-through on the ‘bottom-lines’ will completely undermine the work done at intervention.”

(Candy Finnigan, Lead Interventionist from the Betty Ford Center and Addiction Specialist for A&E’s documentary series Intervention)